Party of Five?
Our goal was always to grow our
family. Our ideal number of children was 2: with the hopes of a girl and a boy.
When Bridget was around 2 1/2 we were right in the thick of trying to figure
her out. I can assume that some people thought we were crazy to begin trying
for another child when we hadn’t even received any information regarding
Bridget’s lack of development yet.
Nevertheless, we began trying for our next child. We were fortunate that our first 2 pregnancies happened so quickly. The next thing we knew (but believe me time ACTUALLY stood still), a full year had gone by with no luck. When we did have luck, it ended up in more disappointment and heartache. Why wasn’t this working? Was God punishing us for some reason? Wasn’t I a good enough mother? Maybe I didn’t deserve another child because for some reason my first child struggled so much.
Our doctor referred us on to fertility specialists. Tests were completed and we were told that everything looked great. How could this be? We were handed the label of “unexplained secondary infertility”. Talk about crushing. Michael remained my rock through everything, although I know it tore him up inside. This was a dark time, which turned into years. I can reflect now and see how removed I was from myself, my friends, even my husband. But we had options, and there was hope. I was fortunate to have some very special friends close by to explain everything step by step, while also keeping me afloat.
After multiple IUI attempts, we were told IVF was our best bet. We moved forward with the highest of expectations. After a successful retrieval, we were told we had the option to do genetic testing. With our history we went ahead with it, although with no diagnosis for Bridget, we weren’t sure what we would find out. Luckily, we had healthy embryos.
I cannot say enough about our fertility clinic. They cried with me during failed treatments, were quick to respond to my thousands of questions and concerns, and were 100% as excited as we were to find out our IVF cycle was a success.
We couldn’t be more thrilled with our little man joining our family. He is everything we have prayed for and more. When he was just 6 months old we received the news about Bridget’s diagnosis, the geneticists quickly asked if we were wanting to get Luke tested. For peace of mind and future preparation, we moved forward with testing. The wait was unbearable. Nothing would have changed if it came back that he DID have it, but for our sanity we needed to know. After a week of prayer, we received word that Luke does not have Sanfilippo. It was such bittersweet news.
But now we are at a crossroads. We have had many late-night discussions about the future. What if’s....when....how? As morbid as this thought is, I cannot imagine ever leaving Luke alone. So, we are currently in the middle of more genetic testing of our frozen embryos. So many emotions, so many questions. What will life look like with 3 children? How will I juggle marriage, work, Sanfilippo, an IEP, medication, LIFE? And the question I hover on the most: How long will we have the opportunity to be a family of 5?
So, I wait, twiddling my thumbs. Anticipating the very phone call that will determine the future fate of our family. God, give us the strength to handle this next chapter of our lives with courage, hope, and positivity.
Nevertheless, we began trying for our next child. We were fortunate that our first 2 pregnancies happened so quickly. The next thing we knew (but believe me time ACTUALLY stood still), a full year had gone by with no luck. When we did have luck, it ended up in more disappointment and heartache. Why wasn’t this working? Was God punishing us for some reason? Wasn’t I a good enough mother? Maybe I didn’t deserve another child because for some reason my first child struggled so much.
Our doctor referred us on to fertility specialists. Tests were completed and we were told that everything looked great. How could this be? We were handed the label of “unexplained secondary infertility”. Talk about crushing. Michael remained my rock through everything, although I know it tore him up inside. This was a dark time, which turned into years. I can reflect now and see how removed I was from myself, my friends, even my husband. But we had options, and there was hope. I was fortunate to have some very special friends close by to explain everything step by step, while also keeping me afloat.
After multiple IUI attempts, we were told IVF was our best bet. We moved forward with the highest of expectations. After a successful retrieval, we were told we had the option to do genetic testing. With our history we went ahead with it, although with no diagnosis for Bridget, we weren’t sure what we would find out. Luckily, we had healthy embryos.
I cannot say enough about our fertility clinic. They cried with me during failed treatments, were quick to respond to my thousands of questions and concerns, and were 100% as excited as we were to find out our IVF cycle was a success.
We couldn’t be more thrilled with our little man joining our family. He is everything we have prayed for and more. When he was just 6 months old we received the news about Bridget’s diagnosis, the geneticists quickly asked if we were wanting to get Luke tested. For peace of mind and future preparation, we moved forward with testing. The wait was unbearable. Nothing would have changed if it came back that he DID have it, but for our sanity we needed to know. After a week of prayer, we received word that Luke does not have Sanfilippo. It was such bittersweet news.
But now we are at a crossroads. We have had many late-night discussions about the future. What if’s....when....how? As morbid as this thought is, I cannot imagine ever leaving Luke alone. So, we are currently in the middle of more genetic testing of our frozen embryos. So many emotions, so many questions. What will life look like with 3 children? How will I juggle marriage, work, Sanfilippo, an IEP, medication, LIFE? And the question I hover on the most: How long will we have the opportunity to be a family of 5?
So, I wait, twiddling my thumbs. Anticipating the very phone call that will determine the future fate of our family. God, give us the strength to handle this next chapter of our lives with courage, hope, and positivity.
May God provide you with strength for every battle, wisdom for every decision, and peace in every difficult situation.
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