Self-Care

When I look at my face I see a map. A map of all of the experiences we’ve had over the last 6 1/2 years. Our family has been on quite the journey so far. We have dealt with loss, extreme joy, infertility, devastation, fear, and even hope. All of which has taken a toll on my mind, soul, and body.

The lines on my forehead represent the hours scouring the internet researching and preparing for our future. The crow’s feet by my eyes are from the many tears shed throughout the years of unknowns. And the laugh lines are from the joy I feel while spending time with my people; my family.

Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I don’t see me. I don’t recognize who I have become. Where has the old, carefree, spontaneous girl gone? I’m so wrapped up in what needs to be done now, what doctor’s I need to phone back, and what paperwork needs to be completed.  I joke with my friends that I’ve become socially awkward...except it’s actually the truth.

Every conversation I have had with other Sanfilippo mom’s circles back to how crucial self-care is. Unfortunately, I feel like since we’ve been dealt these cards it’s hard to focus on myself. I feel guilty doing things that most don't think twice about. I wonder what people will think if I’m not with my children. Even more, I don’t know what to talk about while out in public because my mind is so consumed.

I’ve always preached about self-care to others. It wasn’t until I became a mother/caretaker that I could truly understand how necessary it is to look after your own well-being. How can I be expected to be the mother, wife, educator, and friend that I want to be when I’m running on empty?

And so, as year 33 begins, I vow to take better care of myself so I can love and laugh with those who truly need the best version of me. I also promise to date my husband, we heard a staggering divorce statistic of couples in our shoes, and we can’t fathom doing this without each other (I am also pretty excited for the date night that Michael planned for us this weekend).  Lastly, I plan to add more smile lines to my cheeks as we continue to create memories together.

Here’s to #33!