A New Addition

What does a perfect family look like?  Is there such a thing?  Back when Michael and I were dating, we would spend hours discussing the makeup of our future family.  We agreed that it would be wonderful to be blessed with both a girl and a boy.  It took years, it took loss, and it took the assistance of doctors and medicine, but we finally had that dream we envisioned years ago.  But if there is one thing I should know already in life...it's that you can't control everything. It doesn't matter how hard you try, there are just some things that you cannot predict the outcome of.

When we finally received word about Bridget's diagnosis our world was torn apart.  How do you recover from something like that?  How do you push forward?  We both handled the initial "diagnosis days" in our own ways.  We piggy-backed off one another to share our thoughts, tears, and fears for what is to come. Many morbid, but honest, questions were asked.  Soon we found ourselves visualizing life for Luke.  How could we knowingly allow him to be an only child down the road?  Was that fair to him?  No part of this decision is fair.  No addition to our family could replace any loss that we will eventually feel either.

I was surprised at how quickly we both decided to grow our family.  Luckily, Michael and I have always been on the same page in regards to everything that the future holds.  Many people have asked if we are nervous about having another child with Sanfilippo.  I know other MPS parents that have multiple children with the same terrible syndrome.  I applaud them for their tremendous strength and courage.  I could not imagine going through this with another child though, so we had genetic testing done to rule that out.

So here we are...gearing up to be a family of 5.  Was this our initial plan, no.  But something feels "complete" to me about adding this little lady to our family. I won't lie when I say that there are moments of sheer terror, however.  Wondering how we will manage life with a baby, a 2 year old, and a special needs child.  I worry about how I will equally share my love between the 3 of them, let alone my husband.  I worry about how long we will actually get to be a complete family of 5.  There are so many unknowns, but one thing is for sure...we are excited about baby Barta #3!